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I am now learning (thru an intense out patient therapy) that I am a people pleaser to my husband. I have done everything for him, from the places that I have lived, the car I bought and the children I have. They were all his decisions. I never felt like i would make a good parent so never wanted children. I am now the parent of a 3 1/2 and 4 1/2 and I am constantly depressed and ready to walk away. I am now getting help and I am so scared to go back to m children and try to raise them right when I am a mental case myself. this new perspective of being "a people pleaser" scares me and that i will instill this in my little boy and girl. How can I trust myself to raise these children when i am not healthy myself? I feel like the road to mental health for me is so far away I want to throw in the towel.

Erica Sandow

I have a 15 month old little girl who is my first. She is quite tiring as she is very much a whinger and quite high maintenance, but I just love her to death. She's a gorgeous little one who we had to put in daycare two days a week so I could work as we need the money. She seems to love daycare (it's a family daycare so there's only a couple of other kids there and the lady is just lovely). Unfortunately, we have had to put her in for a third day a week to bring in some more money. Since then she seems to have turned completely off me. She only wants her dad and just pushes me away. If I'm the only one with her, she will let me hold her to do the things that need to be done, nappy changes etc, but won't cuddle me anymore. When dad comes home she goes straight to him and wants him to do everything for her and be with her for the whole night. If I try to cuddle with them, she just pushes me away very obviously. I'm just heart broken and don't know what I've done to bring this on and/or what I can do to change it. Is it just a phase that lots of other kids go through? None of the mothers in my mothers group have this problem and all their babies just love them. But none of them have to work either and none of their kids attend daycare. I just don't know what to do and I'm just heartbroken about it.

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