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Comments

Angela

I agree with Mary - switch daycares as soon as you can. Yes, Kikki's feelings may be hurt but you and your baby should come first. period.

I started my son at a daycare when he was about 2 or 3 months old. He normally gets about 2 or 3 naps during the day then bedtime at around 8 to 10 - depends on how tired he is. I'm deaf and I wanted to send him to the only daycare in town that had a deaf provider and a mixture of deaf and hearing kids. I eventually found out that there was absolutely no structure at all. They 'apparently' had a hard time getting Ash to sleep at all. Well, duh! It was too loud and there was no enforced quiet time for all kids to play quietly or sleep. Ash came home really CRABBY and UPSET. He often went to bed early without dinner. He didn't want to eat at all, he just wanted to sleep. My husband and I got really upset but never switched. I tried explaining to the DCP that she needs to make sure Ash sleep in the afternoons - period. It doesn't matter if he sleeps in the morning or not but it's important he sleeps in the afternoon.

He stayed in there until he was 13 months old and we moved to a nearby town. I found a new daycare provider. I had a nice excuse "we've moved'. I explained to the new daycare that Ash must sleep in the afternoons. She followed that request, she enforced quiet time in the afternoons and shes' NEW. Ash is one of her first clients along with her own son and couple of kids. Her son and Ash is the same age so they sleep in the same room - babbles to eachtoher then goes to sleep. Ash has been so wonderful, he spends time with us befre bedtime at 8. He actually eats dinner and plays around with us.

If Kikki isn't going to toughen up for you and your child - switch.

Mama_Bear

THANK YOU, Mary! I feel like..... a huge boulder has been shiifted off my shoulders... I questioned myself what would be better for her. A little afraid to loose this care giver because she seems to loving to Kyla. Kyla doesn't mind staying there, seems happy and smily when I leave her (although drowsy when I come back). The care giver is also very flexible with hours and she takes care of just Kikki, so we thought this was the best solution: lots of love and attention.

I've tried approaching it gently - talking to her and making suggestions. My Mom told me to "give her a break" so we don't loose her. My husband said he knows she's spoiling her but at least he knows "she will be safe there and won't come back with a black eye."

I think you just made me realize we have to have all things in the child care giver - the love, security AND putting her needs first including sleep. Logical, I know, but I think our fear for baby's safety and solo attention has made us cling to this lady. I still have an incling to try to work it out... See if we can put her upstairs and instruct the care provider to let her cry for a set amount of time (She does it max 2 minutes and she is out for us, with only occasional stop-ins to stroker her head or belly). But I'm afraid you are right, the care provider probably won't deal with it well. I will let you know what happens next.

PS Mary P, how come you are so far away in Canada? If only you were closer, I'd love you to look after Kikki! I've been reading your blog every day and I love your philosophy with kids.

Rayne of Terror

Perhaps a daycare center with a set routine and daily schedule would work better for this family. I like how ours has two or three adults all the time and I can set my watch by their lunch/nap schedule.

MamaBear

We're definitely looking for a new child care provider.

I think I mentioned that my husband was hesitant to change providers because he said "At least he knows she (Kikki) won't come back home with a black eye". Her safety was the selling point for him, the Care Giver was self-proclaimed safety expert, almost paranoid about her kids safety.

Guess what - I got the dreaded call yesterday any mothers fears. Her words were "Baby fell on a plastic toy box and has a small boo boo, but she is so crabby and won't stop crying." At which point I threw the phone and went flying over there. Well the fall wasn't too bad, she was sitting down in front of the toy box, she has 2 red marks on her forehead. But the toy box was made from hard plastic and is not meant for babies. She should have known that.

I think she is also teething or is sick because she was whinny yesterday a lot, right from the start of the day through the night. Drooling a lot, and putting things in her mouth. Anyway, Husband is taking her to the doctor right now (she also has a rash on her face, that's another story).

My search for the provider just got more intense. My husband no longer opposes.

Mary P

Well, given that I believe this caregiver had created a problem with the sleep that she couldn't solve, I am glad to hear you're looking for other care.

A caution, though: no matter how good the caregiver, your child is going to get bumps and bruises. All children do. It's an inevitable part of life. The more mobile she gets, the more bump-prone she will be. There's not much a parent or caregiver can do about this, except to take reasonable baby-proofing precautions, and don't panic in front of the baby (it just makes them cry harder).

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