Partners in Parenting:

It happens to parents all the time. You work and work and work with your child, encouraging, stimulating, teaching. You look forward to each new step - and then they spring something on you out of left field, something you had NO IDEA they were working on.

Take my eldest. When she was 17 months old, I was helping her with her burgeoning vocabulary. I was delighting in her efforts to jump. (Getting off the ground with two feet at the same time is no easy task!) She could identify 'red' and 'yellow', and we were working on 'blue'. She was learning all sorts of things, and I was with her, every step of the way.

I hadn't yet learned that I didn't control everything she learned. I would have agreed with that idea, had you said it to me at the time, but I didn't really understand the concept. I hadn't experienced it.

I hadn't experienced it, that is, until one quiet Sunday summer afternoon. Naptime. She was snoozing on a mat on her bedroom floor, the door closed. Mommy and daddy were in their room. Our door was closed, too. We were secure - a triple layer of safety: the nap, and two shut doors. Because our baby? She couldn't open doorknobs.

We were busily ... napping... when...

SMACK! A small hand landed with a decisive thwak on her father's shoulder, and a reproving voice cut the air.

"BAD daddy! OFF Mommy!!"

Guess what she learned, when I wasn't looking??

Both Thanksgivings are out of the way, Hallowe'en is a thing of the past - next stop, Christmas.

Even if you don't celebrate the holiday, it's hard to avoid. Even for those of us who do celebrate the holiday, it can feel more like a lot of pressure than a holiday, more a celebration of ridiculous excess than anything to do with peace, love or faith.

How do you manage this month? Do you hunker down, batten down the hatches, try to stay under the radar? Do you throw yourself into the mayhem with relish? Do you savour the pleasures and filter out some of the craziness? Stories, styles, and craziness tips are all welcome.

Here's one of mine, which I only realized this very year is not how everyone does it!!

In our household, Santa only brings ONE present for each person. The other presents are gifts from real people. I thought this was just how it was done, until I suddenly found out (why did it take me so long?) that in many families, Santa brings all BUT one! Or all but a few. Or even ALL of them. Phew.

I now believe this was something my canny and practical mother devised for her own protection. A widow with three young children, she had very little money. If she encouraged us to believe in a magical Santa who could fulfill our every wish, think of the disappointment on Christmas day! Instead, ONE gift from Santa (and not the biggest one); the rest was from mummy, and grandparents.

For us, with Santa as kindly support staff to Christmas, rather than the Whole Deal, the expectations were realistic and the focus was on the generosity of family and the fun of giving. It worked for us!

How about you? Any stories to share? What is your holiday style? How does your family manage this month?